Dealing because I have to

I've learned something about myself. I *really* want to be a mom.

I haven't recovered well from the miscarriage emotionally, especially for someone who knew she was pregnant for all of 3 days. I have several friends who are pregnant, and I find myself wanting to cry because I'm not right there with them. It's upsetting. I don't like being like this. I talked to my doctor about everything. He gave me the go-ahead to continue birth control and recommended that I stay on it until at least March to give my body time to fully heal and get back into its rhythms. He said after March, if we want, I can go off the pills and try again for real. He took me off the meds we think caused the surprise pregnancy in the first place, too. The FDA now has some more reports from that particular drug possibly interfering with birth control. It's something they hadn't studied before because no other drugs in that family had every shown any kind of interference. This one has a couple dozen across the country now. Not many, but still worth an investigation. Worst case scenario the drug (that works great for many people, but not me) will have to carry a label. Not a big deal.

I've decided in the meantime to take control of this house. I am purging. I'm cleaning and getting rid of anything and everything that I can't see a purpose for anymore. What stuff isn't complete junk is being donated or given to friends who could actually use it. By the way, anyone need a fairly handy plastic shelf? I purged enough stuff to where I don't need it anymore. Let me know.

One room at a time, I am reclaiming my house as my space. I am eliminating useless clutter. It's something I can control, and it gives me something to focus on.

Nate and I have also decided to start aggressively saving to buy a house. I see my purging as an ultimate service to myself. When the time comes to move, I'll have that much less stuff to pack up.

That's it, really. Nate & I got new phones. We both needed them. I'm cleaning. So there we go.