The Mommy Wars Are Stupid

In many parenting situations, I'm a live and let live kinda mom. I try not to be the parental equivalent of a Bible thumper, but there are a few things that just bother me to the point I want to smack parents around.

Improper Car Seats
The recommendation is no longer that your kid stay rear facing until 12 months of age or 20 pounds. The recommendation is now 2 years of age, period. The reason is simple: INTERNAL DECAPITATION. There are bones not fully developed until age 2, and in the crazy physics of a car crash, a rear facing seat, properly installed, absorbs the impact instead of your child's neck. The AAP recommendation is everywhere, and the new car seats that my husband and I bought had the recommendation on the display tags, on stickers by the straps, and in the booklet teaching you how to install the damn things. The paperwork from our pediatrician says it, the pediatrician told us to wait until 2 years old to turn her around, and a quick google search will pull up the AAP recommendation and a whole bunch of articles about the change. So, when my Facebook feed is filled with people flipping their children that are less than a year old, I get pissy. (Here's the statement from the AAP, complete with a link to the technical specifics: http://www.aap.org/en-us/advocacy-and-policy/state-advocacy/Documents/Child_Passenger_Safety_SLR.pdf )

I also get pissy over the chest buckle being on the belly instead of the chest, and people putting their puffy coated children in the car seat. With something so critical to your child's safety, wouldn't you want to know how to use it properly?

Vaccinations
I chose to vaccinate my child. I did the research, I weighed the pros and cons, and I made an informed decision for my child. Personally, I don't understand why people choose not to vaccinate, but it is a choice that is made, so whatever. What gets me pissed off is when the anti-vaxers tell me I've given my child cancer, or Autism, or have caused her to be mentally retarded or otherwise abused her by choosing to vaccinate. I get really, really, really pissed off when the Sanctimommy berating me for vaccinating my daughter has a daughter with pierced ears. Apparently my medical needles are unacceptable but your "looking pretty" needles/piercing guns are fine? Bite me, bitch. (For the record, I don't care if you get your kid's ears pierced young. We've just decided to wait to see if she wants it done and I want to her care for them herself.)

Breastfeeding Vs. Formula
As long as I'm feeding my child appropriately and not putting Mt. Dew in her bottles, it's none of your business how she is nourished. You want to nurse in public? GO FOR IT! Wanna whip out a bottle of formula instead? GO FOR IT! Feed your child, let me feed mine, and let's move on. Instead of worrying about whether my boobs function properly (I worry about that enough for myself, thanks) why don't you worry about the lady over there who just dumped Mt. Dew in her toddler's bottle. I think  she deserves your rage a hell of a lot more than me.

While we all are told, countless times, that breast is best, it isn't the only option, and for some, it isn't best. Happy mommy who formula feeds is a hell of a lot better than the stressed out wreck. Make your choice, and be happy with it. What's important isn't that you breastfed for that first year (and if you did, I salute you because that shit is HARD.) What's important is that your child was nourished, happy, and healthy. And you didn't go crazy resenting him.


I just realized that I could go on and on and on over these Mommy Wars. They're FUCKING STUPID. Unless the debate in question is an actually dangerous debate (see: CAR SEATS AND THEIR PROPER USE) the rest is all opinion. Find the parenting style that works for you, and roll with it. Oh, and while you're memorizing Dr. Sears, find some time to respect those of us who decide to give it our own try. My kid seems pretty damn happy considering I've been winging the small stuff for the past 14.5 months.