I've decided that I'm freaking myself out unnecessarily. The other day, I started having chest pains. This is nothing new for me. I've damaged the cartilage in my ribs enough to where stupid things like lifting a heavy book bag will cause me extreme pain. I'm used to it, and I know my restrictions..I also have medication to take when the pain gets out of hand.
What I'm freaked about is that despite taking the medication (and trying a couple of others the doctor suggested in case my body is getting too accustomed to the prescription)...well, the pain isn't going away.
I've been here before. Usually when it gets exceptionally bad it takes about a week to go away. The problem is that right now I don't have the time to slow down to let myself heal.
I've thought about going in to the doctor to maybe get an updated prescription or to get a new x-ray done to make sure I haven't made the damage worse. I won't do it, though. Partially because I'm semi-sure I'm over-reacting and partially because I don't have health insurance anymore.
I'm attributing the excess pain to stress. I'm losing my job in January, and we're already broke all the time because Nate still doesn't have a job. He's spent our entire marriage jobless. We're running out of savings. I'm losing my job.
I'm panicking.
And I think that's why the pain has come back so strongly. I'm panicked. I'm absolutely terrified because everything is going to hell, I can't stop it, and I don't know how to deal with it.
I realize there are people out there in much worse shape than we are...some of them are my nearest and dearest friends.
I just don't like being out of control of my own life, and that's what it feels like. I have no control. It is taking so much effort on my part to not revert to the nasty habits of my teen years. My meds are barely working, and it's because I'm so freaked and scared and I have no idea what I'm going to do.
I'm at a loss. I had somewhere I was going with this, and I've completely forgotten. I'm...done.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
We All Need Something To Fear
People crave crisis and fear.
We are all aware that the American media panders to fear; scaring people equals ratings which equals advertising dollars. Nobody likes the fluffy stories about little old ladies and their cars they've owned for fifty years.
We, as Americans, like to panic.
Unfortunately, in my opinion, we are panicking over the wrong things entirely. We're so freaked out about the world ending in 2012 that we're ignoring the greater issues, that are all right here at home. I'm focusing on the 2012 things because let's face it, you can't turn on the History Channel without seeing something about it anymore. There's a movie out starring John Cusack that is all about the crisis, too. It's ridiculous.
So, in our focus on the end of the world in true apocalyptic fashion, we are forgetting that we have several crises here at home that we need to acknowledge and work towards repairing.
Americans at large are still convinced that we are the greatest country in the world. In my research, the only place I've found we're even close to ranking in anything is according to the World Economic Forum, the US is #2 for competitive economy. Funny thing, until this year, we were the top country for competitiveness. Thanks to our tanking national economy and people being afraid to invest in anything or actually *do* anything, we've lost our top spot.
Health Care Reform needs to happen. I don't know anyone who genuinely disagrees with that argument. Sure, we all disagree on how it should be done, but for the most part, Americans agree that it should happen.
At least, that's what I thought. I found someone who thinks our system is just fine the way it is.
Funny. According to the World Health Organization's 2000 healthcare rankings, the US is #37 in the world. 37. Wanna know who is ahead of us?
1 France
2 Italy
3 San Marino
4 Andorra
5 Malta
6 Singapore
7 Spain
8 Oman
9 Austria
10 Japan
11 Norway
12 Portugal
13 Monaco
14 Greece
15 Iceland
16 Luxembourg
17 Netherlands
18 United Kingdom
19 Ireland
20 Switzerland
21 Belgium
22 Colombia
23 Sweden
24 Cyprus
25 Germany
26 Saudi Arabia
27 United Arab Emirates
28 Israel
29 Morocco
30 Canada
31 Finland
32 Australia
33 Chile
34 Denmark
35 Dominica
36 Costa Rica
37 United States of America
Since 2000, the World Health organization has stopped making a ranking system due to the complexity of the task,
but can we honestly tell ourselves that this isn't a problem?
Alright, you don't believe me on this one? Here's another for you, that is a little more recent.
Global education rankings. I'm not talking post-secondary, here.
15 year old students among the 30 countries that participate in the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development.
These nations are our peers, not everyone. Broken down by subject...
...Guess where we are?
Math: 25 out of 30. The average score across the OECD is 500. The US average is 483.
Reading: 16 out of 30. OECD Average: 494. US Average: 495.
Science: 20 out of 30. OECD Average: 500. US Average: 491.
Problem Solving: 25 out of 30. OECD Average: 500. US Average: 477.
Am I the only one appalled by how pathetic we are compared to our peers?
No wonder we are the laughingstock of the Western world.
Seriously, we're so busy concerned about what is going on everywhere else that we are ignoring our problems at home.
How can we possibly presume to tell everyone else how to be when we can't even keep ourselves under control.
Why, then, are we focused on things such as 2012?
I'm sorry, I'm more concerned that if my husband's appendix ruptures, we'll be screwed because we can't afford
health insurance. I don't care if the Mayans thought the world would end in 2012.
Oh, and by the way, they didn't think the world would end. They thought that the current historic era would end and we would
transition into a new age. Kinda like the Millennium fears, isn't it?
So, my dears, let's calm ourselves down for one damn minute.
Since we love crisis so much, let's get angry and work towards fixing the crises we have going on within our own borders.
Let's educate our damn kids, be parents, and stop being afraid that we aren't going to be "cool".
Let's tell our government what we want. What we need. We need a better health care system.
It is their job to listen to us, all we have to do is speak up and hold them accountable.
Here's a big one.
Let's take responsibility for ourselves. Stop playing the victim.
What we've done, we've done to ourselves. Let's stop bitching and start fixing.
We are all aware that the American media panders to fear; scaring people equals ratings which equals advertising dollars. Nobody likes the fluffy stories about little old ladies and their cars they've owned for fifty years.
We, as Americans, like to panic.
Unfortunately, in my opinion, we are panicking over the wrong things entirely. We're so freaked out about the world ending in 2012 that we're ignoring the greater issues, that are all right here at home. I'm focusing on the 2012 things because let's face it, you can't turn on the History Channel without seeing something about it anymore. There's a movie out starring John Cusack that is all about the crisis, too. It's ridiculous.
So, in our focus on the end of the world in true apocalyptic fashion, we are forgetting that we have several crises here at home that we need to acknowledge and work towards repairing.
Americans at large are still convinced that we are the greatest country in the world. In my research, the only place I've found we're even close to ranking in anything is according to the World Economic Forum, the US is #2 for competitive economy. Funny thing, until this year, we were the top country for competitiveness. Thanks to our tanking national economy and people being afraid to invest in anything or actually *do* anything, we've lost our top spot.
Health Care Reform needs to happen. I don't know anyone who genuinely disagrees with that argument. Sure, we all disagree on how it should be done, but for the most part, Americans agree that it should happen.
At least, that's what I thought. I found someone who thinks our system is just fine the way it is.
Funny. According to the World Health Organization's 2000 healthcare rankings, the US is #37 in the world. 37. Wanna know who is ahead of us?
1 France
2 Italy
3 San Marino
4 Andorra
5 Malta
6 Singapore
7 Spain
8 Oman
9 Austria
10 Japan
11 Norway
12 Portugal
13 Monaco
14 Greece
15 Iceland
16 Luxembourg
17 Netherlands
18 United Kingdom
19 Ireland
20 Switzerland
21 Belgium
22 Colombia
23 Sweden
24 Cyprus
25 Germany
26 Saudi Arabia
27 United Arab Emirates
28 Israel
29 Morocco
30 Canada
31 Finland
32 Australia
33 Chile
34 Denmark
35 Dominica
36 Costa Rica
37 United States of America
Since 2000, the World Health organization has stopped making a ranking system due to the complexity of the task,
but can we honestly tell ourselves that this isn't a problem?
Alright, you don't believe me on this one? Here's another for you, that is a little more recent.
Global education rankings. I'm not talking post-secondary, here.
15 year old students among the 30 countries that participate in the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development.
These nations are our peers, not everyone. Broken down by subject...
...Guess where we are?
Math: 25 out of 30. The average score across the OECD is 500. The US average is 483.
Reading: 16 out of 30. OECD Average: 494. US Average: 495.
Science: 20 out of 30. OECD Average: 500. US Average: 491.
Problem Solving: 25 out of 30. OECD Average: 500. US Average: 477.
Am I the only one appalled by how pathetic we are compared to our peers?
No wonder we are the laughingstock of the Western world.
Seriously, we're so busy concerned about what is going on everywhere else that we are ignoring our problems at home.
How can we possibly presume to tell everyone else how to be when we can't even keep ourselves under control.
Why, then, are we focused on things such as 2012?
I'm sorry, I'm more concerned that if my husband's appendix ruptures, we'll be screwed because we can't afford
health insurance. I don't care if the Mayans thought the world would end in 2012.
Oh, and by the way, they didn't think the world would end. They thought that the current historic era would end and we would
transition into a new age. Kinda like the Millennium fears, isn't it?
So, my dears, let's calm ourselves down for one damn minute.
Since we love crisis so much, let's get angry and work towards fixing the crises we have going on within our own borders.
Let's educate our damn kids, be parents, and stop being afraid that we aren't going to be "cool".
Let's tell our government what we want. What we need. We need a better health care system.
It is their job to listen to us, all we have to do is speak up and hold them accountable.
Here's a big one.
Let's take responsibility for ourselves. Stop playing the victim.
What we've done, we've done to ourselves. Let's stop bitching and start fixing.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Frustration
For whatever reason, mobile blogging refused to work for me while I was off in Atlanta celebrating the release of Mentally Incontinent.
I have pictures and experiences to share, none of which are that interesting, but that I'm going to share anyway.
But not until later, for now I have an English paper to dive into.
I have pictures and experiences to share, none of which are that interesting, but that I'm going to share anyway.
But not until later, for now I have an English paper to dive into.
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